Nested within the Costa Rican rainforest, anticipation builds amongst a group of people who are waiting to take a trip deep into their soul. As the sun sets and darkness begins to engulf the light, the time is here. The long awaited journey with Grandmother Ayahuasca begins now.
The shaman opens the ceremony with some beautiful words but I am occupied with the vivid and intense memories of my past Ayahuasca journeys in Peru a couple of years ago. I shift back into the present moment and surrender to the journey that is about to unfold. After all, each journey is simply a visceral experience of a story my soul wants to tell.
I peek over the burning campfire as I anxiously wait for the shaman to signal me over. He finally gives me a nod to indicate it’s my turn to take the medicine. I stand before him holding the cup between my praying hands. I lovingly project my intentions into the drink and then gulp it down. The taste is musky with a slight golden aftertaste, similar to some Traditional Chinese Medicine brews I’ve taken. I return to my seat on a chair just outside the circle and patiently wait for the effects to kick in.
Merging with the Consciousness of Ayahuasca
My head spins a little and within what seems like seconds, it’s full on.
I am immersed into a three dimensional world of intricate Ayahuasca art. Thousands of geometric shapes, golden ratio spirals and luminous colours come to life before my mind’s eyes. The visuals are difficult to explain, but similar to what many psychedelic artists have depicted through their spiritual artwork.
The art is alive and conscious. It moves, changes and expands infinitely. I am it and it is me; there is no separation between our existence. It feels like I have dissolved deep into the mysterious consciousness of Ayahuasca as she guides me to flow slowly through her veins like a viscous fluid. Her consciousness feels sacred yet strangely eerie, as if it’s a forbidden place very few get to visit.
The art changes and transforms into dozens and dozens of different illustrations. I am mesmerized by the visuals and the feeling of this place. The concept of time fades as Grandmother holds my attention powerfully within her consciousness. The effects are deepened by the icaros of the shaman.
Shades of Grey
The beautiful visuals begin to shift unexpectedly. All the luminous colours dry up into shades of grey. The black lines defining the geometric shapes and spirals open up, spilling out its black contents.
Vomit emerges from deep within me. Something guides me to turn my head over my right shoulder as the vomit projectiles out of my mouth onto the grass behind me. My chair tilts back, somehow managing to balance on its back legs while I vomit. To put things into context here, I have zero concept of myself, my body, or the chair I am sitting on. I certainly don’t remember having a bucket to throw up into. Many thanks to the gentle spirit who I feel is standing by, helping to turn my head.
I half slip back into physical awareness as the last bit of vomit exits. A thought crosses my mind – oh how I wish I remembered to put some toilet paper in my pant pocket so I could wipe the vomit off the edges of my lips right now. Then a pair of caring hands belonging to the shaman’s apprentice appears before me with some. Thank you!
Releasing Suppressed Negative Energies
Vomiting is one of the most common ways of healing on this plant medicine. Once consumed, Ayahuasca works within the body to move out trapped negative energy. The act of vomiting releases or purges these suppressed energies out for good.
Trapped negative energy can be any element, trauma or attachment we’ve acquired on a physical, mental, emotional or spiritual level. After all, everything begins with energy. Considering the soul is eternal, everyone has much to release on an individual level. Ayahuasca is one of the many ways to assist with this. It is an extremely powerful medicine and therefore, should always be used with great honour and understanding.
After much contemplation, I recognize a compelling lesson behind this experience, which is that all things eventually come to an end because nothing is constant in life. As a matter of fact, everything is constantly changing. Life flows, transitions and evolves into something different continuously. Sometimes things must end or die, but that also means a chance for new beginnings. These cycles are prevalent in all aspects of our life.
Change is a difficult thing for many to accept, however if things are not changing, it means it’s dead. Whether it’s your life, a relationship or a plant, change is a wonderful thing because it signifies being alive and growth.
Yet people seem to get very attached to relationships, items or experiences in their life, forgetting that those things too might very well change one day. The best way to make the most of our life is to be grateful for the present moment. Learn to enjoy the present moment because no one really knows just how much longer this moment will last before it, too, changes.